Relationships
Hello All,
Dr. Google says I have at least a 50/50 chance of making it to my 70th birthday. That’s the “glass half full” version, and I am grateful for the extra innings. Still, it brings a sense of urgency to everything, and I’m doing my best to move intentionally and efficiently toward what I believe is God’s will for my life, whether it’s long or not. It seems like I can’t do anything the same as before the cardiac arrest, but the doctors say it’s normal, and that recovery is maddening slow, if it even happens. Before this I could endure long days of hard work, but now it’s short bursts, then rest. Today is my first appointment with cardiac rehab, which will go about twenty weeks at 7am MWF. I’m excited to get started on a plan for healing.
Speaking of urgency, please let me give a shout out to my Uncle Ken, who is in his eighties, and is celebrating semi-retirement with his fellow Brothers of the Holy Cross at Notre Dame. Just before my cardiac arrest Ken let us know that he felt it was really important to see my brothers and sisters and me soon, offering up his advanced age as an urgent motivator. Ken is the namesake for my son, and the celebrated senior member of our family, since everyone else in my parents’ generation have passed on, including my folks back in 2005 and 2008. I’m the youngest of eight kids, and our parents pulled off the unimaginable feat of keeping the family working together extremely well through five tumultuous decades. Uncle Ken was the classic “cool uncle,” to me as a kid, as he was to us all, but as a man of the cloth he was also given an extra measure of trust so he could pour into us kids. It’s the kind of trust and respect you reserve for a vocational pastor, and back in the day a lot of Catholic families had someone in the family like that. On our Irish side there were at least four that I know of, but Ken was the closest, being my mom’s younger brother. When I look at how us eight siblings interact I see Ken’s direct influence all the time in how we deal with each other and the world. I’m sure he would never confess to that influence, so out of respect for him I won’t parse any more details in this forum, but when he requested a sibling reunion weekend was a good idea we all agreed immediately. We all got to work scheduling a date and finding a comfortable place for eight of us, plus six spouses and Ken. Eventually Lara had a solution; two houses that were close together in a quiet resort community on Lake Michigan, an hour and a half from Notre Dame. The main house was big enough to accommodate all of our eating and social activity, and the second house would be mostly for sleeping. Christy and I were in the second house, but we never felt distant, and we never really spent more than one waking hour there in any of the three days we were at the place. We couldn’t help wondering how it would have been to get everyone under one roof, but the resort didn’t have any properties big enough! The Beachwalk Resort in Michigan City is a real gem, and I highly recommend it. Just across the road from a long sandy Lake Michigan beach, they have built a terrific community with a pool and lots of activities for families. Next time perhaps I’ll get to enjoy some of those activities with my son, but he had to stay home in St. Louis this time. Memorial Day 2025 was a weekend for the siblings to intentionally “tend the garden” of our relationships, getting rid of any misunderstandings, sharing meals and medical updates, making music together, laughing, and mostly just loving.
Memorial Day Sibling Reunion 2025 would have looked a whole lot different if I had died on April 10, but I hope they still would have done it. Even if the moment is tragic, and sometimes especially when it’s tragic, it’s never a bad idea to tend the garden of your relationships. You have to get rid of weeds like discord and disappointment that choke out fruitfulness. You have to nourish relationships with time spent together, listening to each other without judgment. People each need space to grow, but like plants in a garden they grow much, much better when they are close enough to shelter each other from the elements and bind together with common roots. Occasionally someone removes themselves from our garden of relationships. Believe me when I say that’s a tragic choice, but it is just as tragic when we choose to isolate someone and watch them suffer for it. Like a garden, relationships are hard, messy work, and very often they leave everyone smelling like fertilizer. But fertilizer is food!
My next great opportunity to spread fertilizer will be my 40th high school reunion this summer. Spreading fertilizer is joy for me, but until recently I wasn’t sure if we were going back to Euclid for this one. I’m still in recovery and am currently jobless, but we’re going to try to go. I have a new appreciation for the moments when people who share roots can encourage and nurture each other, and if they allow kids at some of the events I’d like my son to meet some of the people who shaped his daddy.
The last EHS reunion was the 30th in 2015, one of the hardest years for me. I was childless, changing careers, changing cities, and struggling with feelings of exile and isolation that made it really hard to connect with anyone. Then the most encouraging conversation happened with Mike Hoag, a dear, shy young man back in the day. Through his commitment to helping others he has grown into a strong leader, and through his work a lot of people in Northeast Ohio find value in themselves. He has become an amazing force for good, and he really inspired me when we talked. After that high school reunion l went back to St. Louis and didn’t try to form a new relationship with him, but I left the interaction far better than before.
Since that last reunion I have changed careers twice. First I became a technical sales guy, working internationally to help people do their creative jobs better. Then I became a full-time worship director and pastor, serving God during a tumultuous time at my church. Now God is calling me to a very specific ministry, and opening my creative eyes to ways in which I can show His love in the world and impact the Kingdom. The mission statement of Eddie Wilson Music Ministries is still under construction, so stay tuned for that, but God has given Christy and me unique gifts and an amazing group of friends who are creative and inspired christians. We aim to build a community of artists in relationship, bearing each other’s burdens and deepening each other’s faith. Through our work we aim to show God’s love to people who wrestle with isolation and relationship trouble, encouraging them to get in there and garden again.
Front: Pete, Sue, Uncle Ken and me. Back: Rich, Jim, Terri, Tom, and Mike.
Look for more information about the ministry soon, and let me strongly encourage you to keep doing your best to reach out to people. After all, you’re only a heartbeat away.