So, What Now?

Only one in ten survive a cardiac arrest at home.

I’m one month into recovery at home, after being discharged from the hospital on Good Friday, April 18. If you haven’t yet read about my recent hospitalization you can read the whole story at eddiewilson.com/heart. This has been a really scary ride, and for Christy and me the terrifying idea of a second cardiac arrest is an ever-present guest in our home. Our mental state has been helped beyond measure by visits and prayers from cherished friends and family, so we are hoping that this season of physical and emotional exhaustion will be over soon. In just a couple weeks Christy and I go to Indiana for a reunion with my seven brothers and sisters, encouraged by our Uncle Ken, who is living out his retirement at Notre Dame. Well into his eighties, Ken is an amazing Brother of the Holy Cross who changes every place he goes for the better, and I couldn’t be prouder that our son is named after him. We all grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, but for Tom and me in Missouri it’s nice (and safer in my condition) to only drive a few short hours to this reunion.

I’m glad to report that there have been no major complications as I heal from my defibrillator implant surgery and get used to a host of new medicines. I get tired very, very easily because my heart is still inefficient, and I’m not allowed to lift anything heavy or go crazy with exercise. I am, however, walking (well, shuffling) thousands of steps each day to prepare for cardiac rehab, which will start in June. So much of what I think and do is centered around my healing heart that all the other things I need to do often get treated like hobbies. There are still no regular piano students, and no real job prospects, despite daily efforts to find something that might work in this next season. I will likely be working a job outside of ministry, while still pursuing the thing God has called me to do. Right now, while I’m recovering, I’ve been up early every morning reading my bible and praying, asking only for a glimpse into God’s plans for me in this next weird season. Surely there’s a lot left in this life that I need to do. Only one in ten people who suffer a cardiac arrest at home survive to talk about it, and against those odds I have been spared. This happened to me right after I lost my job at West County Assembly of God, and even though we could point to that job stress as a major contributor to the cardiac event, God is writing a far more beautiful story. I’m so grateful for my life, and for everything in it, so I’m absolutely committed to serving God’s kingdom with the rest of the days He’s granting me. Today, on my 58th birthday, I think I can finally talk a little bit about how my future might look, since my eyes have finally been opened to a path that serves Him with everything I am, and everything I’ve done. Before I tell you, I want to thank Josh Reed, who among other things has a podcast in St. Louis called Triple Play, which focuses on faith, sports and culture. On a recent podcast he and I, talked through some of my story along with Dennis Tinsman, and helped my head and heart settle enough to tie some things together. For the first time in a long time, I have a plan.

My whole life has been lived in the artist community, and creative people have been my closest companions. For most of my life I was not a follower of Jesus, but anyone who has been in my creative circles knows how much I have always loved and cherished them. I believe I’ve been called to a great harvest field inside creative communities, helping to restore relationships that have been tested by disappointment, discord, or dependency. Starting today I’m doing any piano lessons, technical work, church music, and pastoral care under a new moniker: Eddie Wilson Music Ministries. If you’re someone who knows about setting up a nonprofit entity, please help. I don’t want to waste any time. There will be new music coming this summer, and my core group of wonderful musicians will be joined by many others at occasional jam sessions and feature performances. Stay tuned!